Getting along with family members is hard enough without having to deal with outsiders, especially during big life events. Adding new family members, like a future daughter-in-law, can make people feel bad and cause fights that test how strong family bonds are. A woman recently looked for help online after her son shocked her by not inviting her to his wedding because they had an unexpected disagreement.
The letter from the upset mother:
“Hey,
Tom is the youngest of my four daughters and the only son I have. He’s a nice young man, but I think he’s a little spoiled and careless because he’s used to getting what he wants. It’s only Tom and his brother who has married so far.
Paola, my son’s fiancée, has happily planned the whole wedding with her mother, which is something I’ve done four times with my own daughters. My son asked me out of the blue a week before the wedding, “Mom, how much did the wedding dresses for your sisters cost you?” “About $10,000 each,” I said.
“Well then,” he stated, “my fiancée says that now that it’s my turn to get married, you should give me what you gave my sisters for their weddings in order to be a fair parent.”
“What are you saying?” I gasped.
“I should receive the equivalent of what was spent on my sisters’ wedding gowns in cash,” he said.
“But your tuxedo is already paid for and ready!” You even picked it out with your dad!” I was shocked and yelled.
“I’m renting the tuxedo, but I think I deserve that money,” Tom said in a cold voice. “I’m also your child!” I have rights!”
“Rights?!” I yelled, getting more and more angry.
He answered, “Yes!” “You didn’t hesitate to pay for 4 wedding receptions, so why are you being so tightfisted about a mere $10,000, which you can easily afford?”
It’s possible that I could pay for it, but I don’t understand what he means. I also know that his fiancée came up with this idea and is using my son to turn him against me to make money. So, I refused to give him the money in a very clear way.
“I knew it!” Tom yelled in anger. My sisters, you’ve never loved me like this before, but now you’re showing me what you really are! What do you know?” “I don’t want you at my wedding!” he said. Don’t go there!” I thought he was joking, but it looks like he’s not kidding at all. He hasn’t changed his mind yet, and the wedding is in two days.
In what way should I act? I don’t want to miss his wedding because he’s my only son. Should I give my future daughter-in-law what she wants and pay them $10,000, even though I don’t think it’s fair? Your quick help is very much appreciated right now.
Sincerely,
“Pamela”
